if he encourages me to visit my friends, he has some match on tv...
#oodal
he would have no football/cricket match in tv when one of my friends visit home...
#oodal
if he loves you today, it means he has some office party and would be late...
#oodal
gold coin is investment, before marriage...
jewellery is investment, after marriage...
#oodal
wifey baptises your girlfriends as your cousin sister or aunty, based on their age...
#oodal
you take your girl out on a rainy day, before marriage...
but just an umbrella, after marriage...
#oodal
you could be anyone on weekdays, but just a driver on sundays...
#oodal
joint account actually doesn't exist in reality... its either her's or none...
#oodal
you spend to see her smile, before marriage...
you spend not to see her cry, after marriage...
#oodal
shiela, munni, chameli were not just movie characters before marriage...
#oodal
Upma - a breakfast before marriage and a punishment after marriage...
#oodal
bird watching leads to breakup, before marriage...
and leads to a bash up, after marriage...
#oodal
a cry follows a kiss, before marriage...
a kiss follows a cry after marriage...
#oodal
a little fight between couples either leads to divorce or a delivery...
#oodal
I smsed a friend, "what should I do to own royal enfield Thunderbird twinspark 350cc???"
He replied, "gain weight..."
When doctor said that oil makes me round, I didn't believed...
Then I noticed Puri & chola puri... man he was right...
went to xerox room to get a document spiral binded...
being curious, i requested the xerox boy to teach me making spiral binds...
he refused... fears that i may take over his job...
fine... don't teach... i will tell engineering and management institutes to add 'spiral binding course' in the syllabus...
lets see who win the global recession : engineers+managers or xerox boys...
i keep attracting insects... maybe i should wash my hands within 15 mins of finishing my dinner...
have you ever wondered how a round fan fills air in square room???
check your geometry...
(PS: is it geometry or aerodynamics?!!!)
mission accomplished...
walked to the next room...
on the way, switched off tv too....
wooow...
i feel the power...
full power, just enough to walk to the next room...
there is no news as bad news...
#TomorrowNeverDies
kids..
10 seconds of fun...
30 years of misery...
#TrueLies
fully loaded Rajinikaanths...
#inlaws
could actually prove that E=mC2...
#inlaws
knows more than your wifey... and as a matter of fact, wifey practically knows everything...
#inlaws
should have annual appraisal...
#inlaws
have a well defined SOP for every function of mine...
#inlaws
i love many... i just don't like being struck with just one set...
#inlaws
they know that every penny of dowry paid is worth...
#inlaws
the worst gets the best...
#inlaws
the worst produces the best...
#inlaws
a unit which you could never spin-off...
#inlaws
can you reduce further 2 rupees???
#excuseme
hope you have enough leave to celebrate my dad's 68th birthday with me???
#excuseme
hows the taste???
#excuseme
do i look fat???
#excuseme
women are not really concerned if they are fat or not...
they are just concerned if they LOOK fat or not...
i hope you can manage everything... if any help is needed, remember, i am always there...
#excuseme
can you tell me the exact way to...???
#excuseme
can i have this book to read??? i will return immediately once i finish reading...
#excuseme
do you have change for 5 rupees???
#excuseme
can i go before you??? i have an urgent work...
#excuseme
whats the story till now???
#excuseme
have i missed too much of starting part of the movie???
#excuseme
i can write with both hands with same efficiency...
don't believe me???
you should change your views... see me through mirror...
no... my shoes are not brown... they are black... now, YOU keep your roads clean and dust free...
if i indicate which way i am going to turn my car, it is an information security leak...
i used to wonder why vehicles are made to ply on left side of the road... I found out now... I just read "All rights reserved..."